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How to Spice up the Romance

11 Easy Ways to Enhance the Romance and Increase Your Intimacy : How to Spice up the Romance and Why it's Important

How to spice up the romance is a question all of us in a longterm relationship have asked. Maybe you started your relationship off with a lot of romance or maybe you have felt it has been lacking since day one. Romance helps with enhancing intimacy and closeness; it can help both of you feel more appreciated, desired and thought of. Romance doesn't have to be something spectacular or take months to prep for. You just need some quality time, thoughtfulness and a little initiative to go outside of your comfort zone or routine. Romance just means being attentive to your partner's needs. Longterm relationships can get stale and often times we don't know how to sustain the connection we once had. (This is normal by the way!) Making romance a priority can be the very best thing to invest your time in, as it will rejuvenate your spark and enhance your closeness for longterm fulfillment. It'll help you get out of any rut and/or prevent a rut from happening. The beauty about romance is it doesn't have to be perfect, it can be something you incorporate at any stage of your relationship and it isn't as difficult as you may think that it is. Another benefit is that you can do these tips repeatedly and they will never get old! So if you find yourself in need of some inspiration or some support, here are some helpful ways to get you started!

How to Spice up the Romance #1: Ask your partner on a date (and plan one).

That simple. Even if you have been married for 10 years, it can be incredibly romantic to get an invitation to go on a date from your partner out of the blue. Try asking in a way that you would ask if we were first dating. Would you send flowers with a cute request? Would you text it with a fun emoji? Would you be face to face? Whatever you decide, don't over think it. This request does not have to be perfect or like anything from a movie. Again, just the simple and spontaneous request to go on a date is enough for any longterm partner to appreciate. When you make the plans, nostalgia is where it's at! Think of the first place you both kissed, went out for HH, or had your first anniversary. Something meaningful (even if it is a SUBWAY) is super romantic because it's intentionally thought out. Of course, trying something new could be a tangent to your date later. If you are struggling with finding places to go or things to do during COVID, you can still make any date night special. Try painting portraits of each other, (naked is optional!), or streaming a live concert. Have a dance party in your living room, or cozy up to a fire. Take turns playing your favorite songs from high school or reminisce with old photos together. Remember, romance is about quality time... not about where you go.

How to Spice up the Romance #2: Make a Gift

May sound cheesy, but something you can offer your partner that no one else in the world can, is a handmade gift from you. Recently, Aron made me a wooden bathtub tray and surprised me with candles, rose petals and a cup of tea one random day for no apparent reason. It was incredibly romantic and thoughtful. I will never forget how that moment made me feel. So think about what your partner enjoys doing, needs and/or would really appreciate and try making it yourself. Check out these easy DIY ideas for inspiration!

How to Spice up the Romance #3: Be Thoughtful

What does your partner enjoy but rarely indulge in? Do they need a new pair of jeans or their favorite dessert? What things do they struggle with? Is there something you can intentionally take off their plate? Being thoughtful in the day-to-day is incredibly romantic and helps strengthen the partnership. If your partner is usually the one that does things to show you they love you, maybe it's time you reciprocate with intention. Be more mindful of the little subtle things that can help them feel loved, seen and/or appreciated.

How to Spice up the Romance #4: Offer a Massage

The sexiest, most romantic gesture is to offer a massage without sex being the ultimate goal. This may lead to sex, but if you offer a massage, just for the sake of decompressing and supporting your partner, it will take any potential pressure off the moment. This isn't to say that you shouldn't offer a romantic massage with the intention of sex being the goal, just suggesting that a massage without sexpectations can really increase the intimacy in your relationship.

How to Spice up the Romance #5: Leave Notes

My grandparents used to leave notes around the house for each other and sometimes it was just to say hi, I love you. Since my grandpa has passed, I have one of the notes that he wrote her and the gesture of expressing himself in that way is incredibly meaningful even to this day. Although we live in a world with immediate technology at our finger tips, take an intentional moment to actually leave your partner a hand written note. Doesn't have to be a poem you created, (although that would be really sweet!), it just has to be something intentional like an inside joke, a suggestive hint, or a term of endearment.

How to Spice up the Romance #6: Make Special Surprises

One day plan to come home with flowers, your partner's favorite Starbuck's drink and/or their favorite food. Surprises don't have to come from a rom-com movie to be romantic or special. If you have a thought to do something you think they would appreciate, then just do it. Don't get stuck in your head about whether or not it is a good idea, or get caught up in your day you forget. Make it a priority. It doesn't have to be perfect or elaborate to get the romantic point across.

How to Spice up the Romance #7: Offer Giving Your Partner a Day of No Responsibilities

Being able to rely on your partner to "take care of the endless to-do's" is really quite sexy and romantic. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but since couples have been equally working in their careers more and more, the day-to-day can be very overwhelming. Set a day to offer to your partner a day of rest and you can be responsible for the groceries, cooking, light cleaning, and/or childcare.

How to Spice up the Romance #8: Plan a Staycation

If this is within your means, plan a staycation as often as possible. No friends, no family... just the two of you. Plan your meals ahead of time, take board games and turn off your notifications on your phone. Having intentional time to enjoy each other is romantic enough to revive any longterm relationship. Try including one of our date boxes on your trip! We have everything you need to unbox a sexy date night wherever you are!

How to Spice up the Romance #9: Be Seductive

Romance can also be very sexual and obvious. If it's been a while since the two of you have explored sexually or have gotten out of your sexual routines, it may be time to get out of your comfort zones. Come home wearing a sexy outfit underneath your work clothes, (or better yet, be wearing nothing but a sexy outfit when your partner comes home!) Send sexy texts and flirt with each other! *If you are both stuck in the house all the time due to WFH (work from home) since COVID, I'd suggest you schedule time apart every week to help spread out the togetherness. I would also suggest scheduling time every week for intentional time together, not just eating dinner together because you both have to eat. Also, if you are working from home together, you can still find moments for a quickie, and/or provocative texts. Try to enjoy the perks of working from home! :)

How to Spice up the Romance #10: Compliment

You may find your partner attractive, but rarely say it. Or, you may only say it in sexualized ways. Patting your partner on the butt doesn't always translate to, "you're so beautiful," so maybe instead of a love tap, next time try to whisper in their ear what you think of them. Compliments that come from a place of genuine appreciation and attraction can be incredibly romantic.

How to Spice up the Romance #11: Communicate!

This may not even be on your radar, but when two people really communicate about everything and anything, it's romantic. It's tapping into your chemistry and helping the two of you bond and connect in very intimate ways. If you aren't the best communicator, or you don't think to speak everything on your mind, that's ok, but it may be time to prioritize this part of your relationship. Trying preventative couples counseling is always a good option or exploring our digital subscription for communication prompts can be  just what you need! Either way, communicating regularly and vulnerably is very romantic and bonding.   Are you in a longterm relationship? How do you sustain the spark and romance? Please share your unique ways you build romance in your relationship!

What to do in Lockdown

What to do in Lockdown : Things to Try with Your Partner

What to do in lockdown can be a question you have been asking yourselves for months. It was a tough year to say the least and we still have uncertainties about the future. If 2020 has taught us anything, it is to value our relationships and loving moments together. The Modern Love Box was created prior to the devastating 2020 year, to help busy couples reconnect and enhance their intimate times together; but now more than ever, we need intentional time together to break up the stay at home ruts of our lives. If you find yourselves arguing more or at least just connecting less, than it may be time to spice up the monotony. At one point in your relationship, you couldn't keep your hands off of each other; you were interested in what each other had to say. You were curious about each other's lives. Sometimes when we are forced to spend so much time together, or when stress has gotten the best of us, it's hard to have boundaries, alone time and/or energy to connect. The Modern Love Box can help!

What to do in Lockdown: #1 Communicate Intentionally

Try our Digital Subscription (first month is free!) Created by our Relationship Therapist at Modern Love Counseling, each month includes questions that help the two of you deepen your communication and help foster more emotional intimacy. On your next walk, dinner or date night in, take turns asking each other the questions and have fun being inspired to discuss topics you don't generally talk about. Enjoy getting curious about each other again!

What to do in Lockdown: #2 Set Boundaries in Your Schedules

If you are working from home, it is crucial to set up your work day as you would when you'd go into the office. Wake up, drink your coffee, take a shower, get ready; all before you even check your emails. Starting off your day with a good AM routine will really benefit your entire day. If you're both working from home, schedule times to have lunch together, or at least dinner. Create time to disconnect and go for a walk or have some alone time to take a bath. Just because we are working from home, does not mean we have to constantly be working when we are home! Boundaries are essential.

What to do in Lockdown: #3 Schedule Date Nights

Even if we can't go anywhere, we should still prioritize our date nights. Order from your favorite swanky restaurant, rent a movie or buy a game. Do something intentional that offers you both a break from the day-to-day stresses of life. Try streaming a virtual tour over a bottle of wine, go through old photos, or paint portraits of each other. If you'd like to be pushed out of your comfort zones, try one of our boxes that offer communication activities, a curated experience and products to help guide you to feeling closer.

What to do in Lockdown: #4 Be Silly

Kick it old school and bring back old card games you used to play in childhood. Dig up old board games, or even better, play hide and seek or have a dance party in your living room! Do something silly that helps your brains turn off and escape the uncertainties of life.

What to do in Lockdown: #5 Prioritize Self Care

This one may be hard if you feel your outlets have been taken away. The year 2020 has definitely taught us how to be resourceful and if we aren't able to go anywhere, it doesn't mean we can't actively take care of ourselves. If you generally go and get massages, take turns giving each other one. If you liked to go to the spa, buy some bath salts and essential oils and relax. Snuggle up with a nice book and disconnect from the world for a couple hours. Have children? Take turns watching the children to give each other every other weekend to devote to each other's self care. Struggling with your emotions? Contact a therapist to ensure your mental health is being tended to. Work out as often as possible to get your body moving. Do something daily that makes you happy and reinforces you don't have any responsibilities in that moment.

What to do in Lockdown: #6 Learn to Cook Something New

If you don't normally cook, or you cook all the time, make it a priority to learn how to cook something out of our comfort zone. Make it fun and introduce your pallet and skillset to something different. Check out these online Cooking Classes and next date night, whip up something new together!

What to do in Lockdown: #7 Try an online Yoga Class

Yoga isn't for everyone, but it's definitely worth trying. Yoga can help with slowing down your mind, getting your heart rate up and reseting emotionally. If you suffer from anxiety or tension from stress, give it a try. Couples yoga could also be a fun idea to try together, too!

What to do in Lockdown: #8 Declutter

A new year, a new "start." Maybe make a Sunday Funday with mimosas (or OJ) and declutter a closet, basement or drawer. It's emotionally gratifying to organize your space and why not do it together and have fun while doing it?

What to do in Lockdown: #9 Read

Now is the time to start reading! Reading is so healthy for your brain, easy on your spirit and really helps you get into a peaceful zone. If you have a habit of watching TV, try making one day a week for reading and TV free. See how it makes you feel.

What to do in Lockdown: #10 Redecorate or Take up on a Small House Project

Since we are spending so much time in our homes, now is the time to start making the spaces we share functional and comfortable. If your office is in the living room, maybe buy a bookcase to organize your paperwork and essentials. If you've been needing new light fixtures or curtains to make your room more cozy but have been putting off buying them... just do it. It'll make a huge difference.

What to do in Lockdown: #11 Take a Break from Podcasts, News and Social Media

This one tip will go a long way. We are not built to know what is happening more than a 10 mile radius around us; yet we are obsessed with knowing more than our brains and our hearts can process. Having too much information is part of our anxiety and right now, there is a lot going on in the world. It is time to give yourself permission to be a little ignorant at times and take some breaks from knowing every single thing in the media. By separating ourselves (a little bit) from the need to know everything, we actually give ourselves a space to be more present and less stressed out.

What to do in Lockdown: #12 Kiss and Cuddle More

Flirting is something all long term couples can be better at. We need to kiss more, cuddle often and stop taking life so seriously all of the time. If we get the luxury of being together more, we can practice taking more intentional time throughout the day to randomly give each other love taps and affection.

What to do in Lockdown: #13 Make Cards, Send Flowers, Leave Notes

Just because you are at home all the time, doesn't mean you can't step up the romance! Try leaving love notes around the house or send your partner flowers so you can see their face when they open the door. The little things are often the most meaningful. This can even be something you do for friends and family. Let someone you love know that you are thinking of them.

What to do in Lockdown: #14 Don't Isolate

Be sure you are talking to your partner, friends, family, therapist. During these times, it is important to have community and friendship. We know how hard it can be to discuss your feelings, but everyone is or has struggled recently, and we can all use a helping hand. Even if you can't see your family or friends in person, doesn't mean you can't spend time with them. Schedule monthly FaceTimes, continue doing your book club; enjoy virtual HH. It's not the same, but it beats being lonely.
Unique Valentine's Gifts

Unique Valentine’s Day Gift

Unique Valentine's Day Gift for Every Couple : How to be more intentional this Valentine's Day

Need a unique Valentine's Day gift for your special boo this year? We got you covered! If you're in a relationship, then you know how challenging it can be to come up with something unique and thoughtful for Valentine's Day... year, after year. When February rolls around you may find yourself struggling to search for something you and your partner will enjoy. After skimming through endless flower bouquets and dark chocolate, you may suddenly find yourself feeling uninspired and stuck.
Well, our company is all about spicing things up in your relationship and creating intentional connection. Created by a Relationship Expert, our boxes and digital subscription provide you with the tools you need to invoke curiosity, spontaneity and fun, all while enhancing your level of intimacy.

Unique Valentine's Day Gift: #1 SEXY ADVENTURE BOX

Unique Gifts for Valentine's DayIf you are the type of couple who would like to add some spice in the bedroom or create it, we would recommend our best selling Sexy Adventure Box. Created specifically to enhance physical and emotional intimacy, our Sexy Adventure box is the perfect unique Valentine's Day gift for any pair. Filled with fun products to help inspire sexy time (how about a satin blindfold/handtie... or cherry oral gel?), as well as a communication activity with questions such as "If you had to choose, what would be more satisfying to you, Quality or Quantity in terms of sex?" or "What would you love to get out of exploring sexually with me?" This box is sentimental, erotic and totally bound to invoke quality intimacy!  

Unique Valentine's Day Gift: #2 LOVING REQUEST BOX

Unique Gifts for Valentine's Day If you are the type of couple that struggles at times with initiating sexy time or connection in general, this box is bound to inspire you both to have fun new ways to get the message across clearly! Our Loving Request Box is full of inspiration and is intended to bump up the mystery in your relationship so you both don't find yourselves stuck in a rut! Included in our Loving Request Box, you will find 100 Sex Questions that start at a fun X rated level, then intensify to XXX level; a natural soy candle and body lotion used only to nudge your partner that you're willing and open, as well as a fun "game" that allows your both to request IOU's for future connection. You also have a fun and intimate Communication Activity that inspires quality communication about your relationship and initiating.

Unique Valentine's Day Gift: #3 THE MODERN LOVE INBOX

If you're the type of couple that loves to talk (but doesn't always know what to talk about), or you are a couple that has run out of things to talk about over date night (it's ok.. we get it!), then this is the perfect gift for you two! Every month, you get a downloadable Communication Activity (similar to the one below) that has questions you take turns asking each other. Do it over the phone during times apart, over a glass of wine or at the table over dinner at your next date night! Your partner will appreciate the thought and you'll both enjoy communicating about deep and inspiring topics! Unique Valentine's Day gifts

Unique Valentine's Day Gift : The Modern Love Boxes

Clearly, we are a little bias. We think our boxes are the perfect gift for any twosome because we offer quality connection and supportive enhancement! Enjoy this Valentine's Day on a whole deeper level. Our Relationship Expert knows what couples are craving and each box or Communication Activity is inspired by real couple's requests and needs! Take a peek at all of our boxes and find one that fits for you!  
Valentines Day Ideas

11 Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine’s Day

11 Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day

Do you ever think to yourself, "Do I even have any ideas for Valentine's Day? We've done everything! I've gotten so many Valentine's Day Gifts! What else left is there to do?" If you're anything like me, you've also fallen off the romantic train a few times and you feel discouraged when the infamous romantic holiday rears it's lovely head. It can be challenging at times to think of something genuine, creative or even thoughtful when Valentine's Day creeps up. We work a lot, we have social lives; life sometimes gets the best of our energy and when Valentine's Day comes around, we may feel uninspired. Hey, it's ok!  Aron and I are not huge fans of Valentine's Day, but we think it's important to regularly date each other and do things that are intentional together. Whether you have spent hours racking your brain around ideas for Valentine's Day, or you'd like to surprise your S.O. randomly, I'm hopeful this list will inspire you to enjoy time together. Don't let your ideas for Valentine's Day this year be obligatory or stressful! Make it a goal to make this year thoughtful and intentional!
In my opinion personal and professional opinion, the sexiest, most romantic and/or genuine thing you can do for one another is ENJOY QUALITY (Intentional) TIME TOGETHER.
Here are some unique and thoughtful ideas for Valentine's Day that involve more QT than traditional dinner reservations:

1. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Kick it Ol'School

Ideas for Valentine's DayLock yourselves up in your house, turn off all electronics (except for maybe a music player) and play board games; make Hot Toddies; laugh at each other and be silly. This may seem "lame" to our modern standards, but the intentional thought process of spending such un-interrupted quality time, is actually really romantic. Get lost in being present with each other and see what happens when you don't put any pressure on yourselves! Ideas for Valentine's Day

2. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Couples Massage

"Well duh," you may be saying! "This isn't original!" Well, here's the kicker... Instead of spending a bunch of money on a fancy couples massage, (one in which I may remind you, you aren't even touching each other!) shop around and find your honey's favorite scent in a massage oil and surprise them with a sexy and sensual home massage, with you as the masseuse/masseur. Maybe even purchase erotic massage cards (more geared toward heterosexual couples) or strengthen your techniques by reading up on some tips for male erotic massage or tips for female erotic massage. Set up a romantic and calming space in your home, even if its a sheet on the bed or the floor. Light candles, play calming music and take turns massaging each other. I'm sure this is a better way to relieve your tension anyway!

3. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Reminisce

Ideas for Valentine's DayThe actual definition of reminisce is to "indulge in a enjoyable recollection of past events." How romantic and thoughtful is that? Plan an intention day or night to enjoy a bottle of wine, lay a blanket out on the living room floor and go over past photos, year books, albums, music that spark memories, etc. Anything that inspires enjoyable memories and fun. To complete the Valentine's Day, maybe order in your favorite meal and relax together.

4. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Naked Dinner

Surprise your partner by starting their favorite meal in the kitchen, wearing nothing but an apron. I'm sure they won't even notice you forgot to buy them a card! Have fun together and make it a point to be naked for the rest of the day/night together.

5. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Listen to Live Music

Take your partner to a random dive bar (or a nice jazz lounge if that's more your thing) and listen to live music together. Make the night about the two of you enjoying a change of pace and environment, have a martini and indulge a bit.

6. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Go on a First Date

Ideas for Valentine's DayIf you're in a long term relationship, then you know the novelty starts to wear off and normal day-to-day routines can be uninspiring. This is normal... and doesn't mean you are not in love with your partner. It just means, we know each other sometimes too well. Maybe this year, ask your partner out on a first date and enjoy Valentine's Day for the "first time." Pretend to be strangers; ask each other the fun questions you would normally ask if you were on a first date; put reservations under false names; have fun being a different person with each other and flirt with the mystery of the unknown. Best part... you get to pretend to have a one night stand afterwards!

7. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Make Each Other Something

Ideas for Valentine's Day Have you ever made your partner something? Or maybe you want to finally do X, Y, Z around the house that your partner has been asking you to do for months. Either way, try to find time to intentionally create or fix something for them. Maybe you include their favorite flower or small gift. You don't have to be an artist or a professional handy-person, but the thought really does feel romantic and thoughtful for Valentine's Day when you've put in the personal effort.

8. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Order Room Service

Ideas for Valentine's DayWhen you stay at a hotel, you usually order room service, right? This means, you usually eat in bed. Well, you don't need to be at a fancy hotel to pretend your on a vacation. It's all about creating the intention and sticking to the fantasy of being away on a trip together. Do what you normally do on vacation; take a nice hot shower together, put on your robes and play a funny movie. Order "room service" (ie. your favorite take out joint) and eat dinner in bed together.

9. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Speak Their Language

If you're familiar with Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, then you probably know you and your partner don't always speak the same ones. You partner may need physical touch to feel love, where as you may need them to do things around the house for you. Whatever your language, they are important. Maybe take the quiz together and attempt to speak each other's language for the evening.. (maybe even the rest of the week!)

10. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Go on a Staycation 

We are HUGE FANS of staycations! If your budget and schedule permits, book a hotel room, Airbnb or Bed and Breakfast... even if it's only 20 minutes away from your home. Stay in the city, go to the mountains... Whatever gets you out of your daily grind! Maybe check out which hotels are near your favorite restaurant so you can walk there or go to a city you've never been nearby.

11. Thoughtful Ideas for Valentine's Day : Snag a Sexy Adventure Box

Ideas for Valentine's DayIf you weren't a subscriber in August, then you missed one of our favorite boxes! We are running a Valentine's Day promo from January 14th-February 5th for The Sexy Adventure Box! No subscription required and we ship out in more than enough time for Valentine's Day! Use Promo Code:  XXX for 20% OFF your order! Snag your's before we sell out! The Sexy Adventure Box includes : – Sexy Truth or Dare Sticks – Bijoux Indiscretes Shhh Blindfold/Hand Tie – Jo Strawberry Oral Delight Gel (may be substituted for Doc Johnson Strawberry Oral Gel) – Intimate Communication Activity Card & Instructional Tri-Fold
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