11 Easy Ways to Enhance the Romance and Increase Your Intimacy : How to Spice up the Romance and Why it's Important
How to spice up the romance is a question all of us in a longterm relationship have asked. Maybe you started your relationship off with a lot of romance or maybe you have felt it has been lacking since day one. Romance helps with enhancing intimacy and closeness; it can help both of you feel more appreciated, desired and thought of. Romance doesn't have to be something spectacular or take months to prep for. You just need some quality time, thoughtfulness and a little initiative to go outside of your comfort zone or routine. Romance just means being attentive to your partner's needs. Longterm relationships can get stale and often times we don't know how to sustain the connection we once had. (This is normal by the way!)
Making romance a priority can be the very best thing to invest your time in, as it will rejuvenate your spark and enhance your closeness for longterm fulfillment. It'll help you get out of any rut and/or prevent a rut from happening. The beauty about romance is it doesn't have to be perfect, it can be something you incorporate at any stage of your relationship and it isn't as difficult as you may think that it is. Another benefit is that you can do these tips repeatedly and they will never get old! So if you find yourself in need of some inspiration or some support, here are some helpful ways to get you started!
How to Spice up the Romance #1: Ask your partner on a date (and plan one).
That simple. Even if you have been married for 10 years, it can be incredibly romantic to get an invitation to go on a date from your partner out of the blue. Try asking in a way that you would ask if we were first dating. Would you send flowers with a cute request? Would you text it with a fun emoji? Would you be face to face? Whatever you decide, don't over think it. This request does not have to be perfect or like anything from a movie. Again, just the simple and spontaneous request to go on a date is enough for any longterm partner to appreciate. When you make the plans, nostalgia is where it's at! Think of the first place you both kissed, went out for HH, or had your first anniversary. Something meaningful (even if it is a SUBWAY) is super romantic because it's intentionally thought out. Of course, trying something new could be a tangent to your date later. If you are struggling with finding places to go or things to do during COVID, you can still make any date night special. Try painting portraits of each other, (naked is optional!), or streaming a live concert. Have a dance party in your living room, or cozy up to a fire. Take turns playing your favorite songs from high school or reminisce with old photos together. Remember, romance is about quality time... not about where you go.
How to Spice up the Romance #2: Make a Gift
May sound cheesy, but something you can offer your partner that no one else in the world can, is a handmade gift from you. Recently, Aron made me a wooden bathtub tray and surprised me with candles, rose petals and a cup of tea one random day for no apparent reason. It was incredibly romantic and thoughtful. I will never forget how that moment made me feel. So think about what your partner enjoys doing, needs and/or would really appreciate and try making it yourself. Check out these easy DIY ideas for inspiration!
How to Spice up the Romance #3: Be Thoughtful
What does your partner enjoy but rarely indulge in? Do they need a new pair of jeans or their favorite dessert? What things do they struggle with? Is there something you can intentionally take off their plate? Being thoughtful in the day-to-day is incredibly romantic and helps strengthen the partnership. If your partner is usually the one that does things to show you they love you, maybe it's time you reciprocate with intention. Be more mindful of the little subtle things that can help them feel loved, seen and/or appreciated.
How to Spice up the Romance #4: Offer a Massage
The sexiest, most romantic gesture is to offer a massage without sex being the ultimate goal. This may lead to sex, but if you offer a massage, just for the sake of decompressing and supporting your partner, it will take any potential pressure off the moment. This isn't to say that you shouldn't offer a romantic massage with the intention of sex being the goal, just suggesting that a massage without sexpectations can really increase the intimacy in your relationship.
How to Spice up the Romance #5: Leave Notes
My grandparents used to leave notes around the house for each other and sometimes it was just to say hi, I love you. Since my grandpa has passed, I have one of the notes that he wrote her and the gesture of expressing himself in that way is incredibly meaningful even to this day. Although we live in a world with immediate technology at our finger tips, take an intentional moment to actually leave your partner a hand written note. Doesn't have to be a poem you created, (although that would be really sweet!), it just has to be something intentional like an inside joke, a suggestive hint, or a term of endearment.
How to Spice up the Romance #6: Make Special Surprises
One day plan to come home with flowers, your partner's favorite Starbuck's drink and/or their favorite food. Surprises don't have to come from a rom-com movie to be romantic or special. If you have a thought to do something you think they would appreciate, then just do it. Don't get stuck in your head about whether or not it is a good idea, or get caught up in your day you forget. Make it a priority. It doesn't have to be perfect or elaborate to get the romantic point across.
How to Spice up the Romance #7: Offer Giving Your Partner a Day of No Responsibilities
Being able to rely on your partner to "take care of the endless to-do's" is really quite sexy and romantic. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but since couples have been equally working in their careers more and more, the day-to-day can be very overwhelming. Set a day to offer to your partner a day of rest and you can be responsible for the groceries, cooking, light cleaning, and/or childcare.
How to Spice up the Romance #8: Plan a Staycation
If this is within your means, plan a staycation as often as possible. No friends, no family... just the two of you. Plan your meals ahead of time, take board games and turn off your notifications on your phone. Having intentional time to enjoy each other is romantic enough to revive any longterm relationship. Try including one of our date boxes on your trip! We have everything you need to unbox a sexy date night wherever you are!
How to Spice up the Romance #9: Be Seductive
Romance can also be very sexual and obvious. If it's been a while since the two of you have explored sexually or have gotten out of your sexual routines, it may be time to get out of your comfort zones. Come home wearing a sexy outfit underneath your work clothes, (or better yet, be wearing nothing but a sexy outfit when your partner comes home!) Send sexy texts and flirt with each other! *If you are both stuck in the house all the time due to WFH (work from home) since COVID, I'd suggest you schedule time apart every week to help spread out the togetherness. I would also suggest scheduling time every week for intentional time together, not just eating dinner together because you both have to eat. Also, if you are working from home together, you can still find moments for a quickie, and/or provocative texts. Try to enjoy the perks of working from home! :)
How to Spice up the Romance #10: Compliment
You may find your partner attractive, but rarely say it. Or, you may only say it in sexualized ways. Patting your partner on the butt doesn't always translate to, "you're so beautiful," so maybe instead of a love tap, next time try to whisper in their ear what you think of them. Compliments that come from a place of genuine appreciation and attraction can be incredibly romantic.
How to Spice up the Romance #11: Communicate!
This may not even be on your radar, but when two people really communicate about everything and anything, it's romantic. It's tapping into your chemistry and helping the two of you bond and connect in very intimate ways. If you aren't the best communicator, or you don't think to speak everything on your mind, that's ok, but it may be time to prioritize this part of your relationship. Trying preventative couples counseling is always a good option or exploring our digital subscription for communication prompts can be just what you need! Either way, communicating regularly and vulnerably is very romantic and bonding.
Are you in a longterm relationship? How do you sustain the spark and romance? Please share your unique ways you build romance in your relationship!