How to Make Sex Toys Less Intimidating
Learn How to Make Sex Toys Less Intimidating For the Individual or Couple Exploration | Sex in our culture is shifting tremendously. Although we are on the up swing of empowerment and sexual acceptance, I still see in my practice
how timid couples can be expressing and/or identifying their sexual needs.
As a culture, the idea of sexual empowerment is exciting, but we may be missing a few steps to get there by not addressing the potential intimidation of sex exploration for some. Sex toys and products may be something you've been interested in learning about but you are too uncomfortable with going there. Maybe you don't know your body enough, haven't broached the subject with your partner, and/or feel threatened by sex toys.
If you find yourself nervous about exploring sex, sex toys or products, please know you are not alone. We are here to help! Many couples have a challenging time bridging the gap between intimacy and erotism for various reasons. Because sex has a lot of layers, meanings and feelings attached to it, we often don't know where to start. So if you feel as though there are mix messages about sex or sexuality, and you may not know where to start, here is a good place. Try these 8 things to help you (both) ease into the possibility of sex toys/products to deepen your sexual experience.
How to Make Sex Toys Less Intimidating | 8 Things to Try
Explore your own sexual desires, interests and curiosities.
- Don't know where to start? Try the Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light Exercise in our Intimacy Guide. A guide created with 62 questions and a sexual exploration excercise to help you deepen your understanding of yourselves and each other.
- Often times we don't know what we like, but aren't willing to explore. By educating yourself, you may have a change of perspective.
- Work on being more mentally willing to let go of control in the bedroom. This can even be during your own special time alone or with your partner. Besides... our brain is really the biggest sex organ of our body anyway.
Confront your fears.
- Understand your fears and reflect on why you feel afraid of them. By confronting your fears, you may find you aren't as overwhelmed by them. Or maybe, by confronting them you confirm your strong opinion of not wanting to try. (Either is acceptable!) But at least you have educated yourself before drawing a line in the sand.
Confront your assumptions about sex, sex toys and/or particular sexual acts.
- What does using sex toys or products say about you/your partner? Are they negative? Why? Is there a positive way to see these things?
Exercise empowerment and the power of consent.
- You have the right to say yes, no and not now any time. You are in charge of your own body. Practice self love, self acceptance and overall power of advocacy in your own pleasure and desires.
Have a conversation about sex, intimacy and eroticism with your partner.
Purchase a toy and try it out yourself first.
Reflect on how sex toys and sexual exploration can benefit you and your relationship.
- Can sex toys/sex exploration bring the two of you closer? Can it help the two of you learn more about your sexual needs, likes/dislikes? What do you need from your partner in order to feel safe/comfortable? How can sex toys or an acceptance of your own sexual desires be beneficial to you?
Maybe find a fun nick name for sex toys/product/kinks and create a space of fun between the two of you.
It is important to remember that sex toys and sexual exploration is becoming more popular. The actual act of purchasing a sex toy
can actually boost your communication and emotional intimacy with your partner. When using a sex toy, both partners may not only learn more about themselves and their sexual arousal, but they may also learn how to communication during sex to enhance the attunement and connection during sex.