Month: December 2017

5 Things to STOP Doing in Your Relationship in 2018

5 Things to Stop Doing in Your Relationship in 2018 : New Years Resolutions to Live By

Things to Stop Doing in Your Relationship: If you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s likely the honeymoon stage is long gone. You love and adore your partner, but with life’s hectic hustle, you often forget to check in with them; connect with them; even have the energy to have sex with them. As a Relationship Therapist running Modern Love Counseling, (and a married person myself), I find these challenges to be extremely common and in fact, really normal.
Here’s the truth… the lack of energy and time to connect with your partner isn’t the issue. It becomes an issue when that state becomes the norm in your relationship and you slowly lose sight of each other altogether.
I’ve compiled a few tips on what to stop doing or avoid doing if you’re in the long-term relationship. Do I hear a New Year’s Resolution coming? (Here’s a hint: YES! These tips are actually fulfilling and all require practicing mindfulness!) Cheers to a new year, a more mindful state of being, and more quality connection with your babe.

1. Things to stop doing in your relationship in 2018: Tip #1

Stop picking at the negatives in each other.

Listen, I get it. There are things about your partner that you wish were different. Maybe they deal with their frustrations differently that tend to cause you both a lot of stress. Maybe they always leave the toilet seat up, or use your toothbrush even after you’ve told them to (f-ing) stop. Whatever their quarks, try to be more mindful of how often you point them out and how little you verbalize your appreciation and love of their non-quarking parts and contributions. You may be surprised at how often you pick at each other and how little you express gratitude… and believe it of not, we are more motivated by praise than criticism. So this may end up being a win win practice!

2. Things to stop doing in your relationship in 2018: Tip #2

Stop ignoring each other.

things to stop doing in your relationship

We all work stressful jobs. Some of us have children, health issues, familial stresses. Life seems to never slow down enough to breathe at times. You may not even realize, but you often ignore each other, in an innocent attempt to cope with your own day. Sometimes, we just need to be alone and have or space to be lazy and zone out. This is healthy– and a necessity! However, try to be more mindful of how often you get on your electronics during dinner, or how often you both don’t engage with each other when you’re in the same room. Are you talking? Are you touching? Do you have any idea how they are feeling at this current moment?  Try to be more intentional about considering your partner’s presence and asking more clearly for when you need alone time so it doesn’t feel neglectful.

3. Things to stop doing in your relationship in 2018: Tip #3

Stop taking your partner for granted.

This is a tough one, because I don’t personally believe we do this intentionally. We may not even realize how easy it is to do, but the reality is… we do it often. We forget that we (ourselves and our partners) choose to be in our lives everyday. They have the choice to be faithful, loving, respectful, and trustworthy. We are choosing to live our lives together in such an innate way and even though it’s easy to forget at times, it’s important to remember and acknowledge. That, in it of itself, is something we can all be grateful for. Show your partner you love them by leaving small notes around the house, randomly hugging them with a verbal affirmation or even gifting a Modern Love Box…. 🙂

4. Things to stop doing in your relationship in 2018: Tip #4

Stop idealizing other’s relationships.

I promise you— we all think about our neighbor’s grass from time to time. We are curious by nature. However, one of the main reasons monogamy is such a difficult concept in our culture, is our ease and accessibility to so many other things (i.e. people). This can clog our ability to really value what we have and to work through things together. The reality is, it takes time to create security. It takes time to create balance and equality. It takes time to work through issues; to enhance intimacy and sustain happiness long-term. This concept is hard for a lot of us who struggle in our relationships because we see how easy it is to not have to work for it if we went elsewhere. things to stop doing in your relationship
But here’s the thing; there is no perfect couple out there. Social media only captures the fun and exciting moments of a couple’s life. This year, start being more mindful of how often you glorify other relationships and do whatever is necessary to stop. It’s only creating a wedge between you and your partner, which is preventing you from having the happiness and fulfillment that you ultimately want anyway.

5. Things to stop doing in your relationship in 2018: Tip #5

Stop pushing your partner away when you need them the most.

This is maybe something you don’t even realize you do, but often times we innately go inward when we are stressed, scared, struggling in any way, verses turning toward our partner and asking for reassurance, acceptance, encouragement, etc. This year, try to be more mindful of how often you need something, but choose not to ask for it. This can be helpful in any of your relationships and can prevent a lot of resentment from creeping up and causing havoc.

Creative Date Night

Creative Date Night Ideas: What To Do & How to Have a Creative Date Night

What is a “creative date night?” If you’re anything like Aron & I, sometimes you get bored. It’s not that you don’t love and adore each other, but sometimes, you feel like you’ve talked about everything; sometimes, you feel like you know everything about each other; sometimes, you stress about coming up with a creative date night, that you get too overwhelmed and just resort to Netflix.

You are normal! It’s hard coming up with stimulating things to do together. Especially if you’ve been together for a long time!

Aron and I have been a couple since 2009 (learn more about our story). We can get complacent in our weekly date nights to the same restaurants. Sometimes we zone out in front of the TV or get immersed in our iPhones. Sometimes, we get so busy that time and energy seem to get the best of us and everyday can feel exactly the same.

Sound familiar?

Well… Clearly, we created The Modern Love Box to support couples nationally in their search for relationship enhancement and a cure for modern relationship boredom. We are passionate about our connection and try our best to consistently date, flirt and connect as often as possible. We have to consistently invest in our relationships!

Here are some of our favorite and most creative date night ideas to help you spice up the romance, bump up your creative date night and boost your quality time!

Creative Date Night #1 : Dance Party!

Creative Date Night : Dance Party! One of our favorite things to do is make craft cocktails and have a dance party in the living room. Sounds silly, but it’s actually pretty fun. Get together and look up some craft cocktail recipes or research some good wine. Pick a night that works for both of you and put “Dance Party” on your calendars. On the night of your party, make cocktails together and take turns picking/playing your favorite songs together. Dance the night away! Be silly, be playful, be romantic.

Creative Date Night #2 : Adventure Walk

Creative Date Night : Adventure Walk Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone and normal routine is really all we need to feel re-energized and excited. For this creative date, you’ll be exploring a neighborhood that you don’t know much about; one that you don’t often go to. Whether you stumble upon it or research it, truck up to a neighborhood and start exploring. Once, Aron & I planned a jog in a random neighborhood. We literally laced up our shoes and drove to a neighborhood we had never been to. It had an amazing path and the scenery was new and fresh. We talked, we laughed, we even ran longer than usual. Afterward, we found a brewery and had a fresh beer!

Creative Date Night #3 : Sexy Scavenger Hunt

As a fun surprise, take each other to a sexy shop and once you get there, go your separate ways. Give each other a budget and find some goodies for the evening to come. One you get home, take turns hiding your goodies all around the house with a little sexy riddle, a memory, a flirtatious compliment, and/or a sexy request. Here’s a perk… at each hidden location, you have to use your sexy goody!

Creative Date Night #4 : Naked Glow in the Dark Hide & Seek Creative Date Night : Glow in the Dark

I used to love hide and seek.. still do actually. I often find myself hiding in random places only to scare Aron just for a good laugh…(I’m horrible, I know). Anyway, with this creative date night you can merge the playful fun of hide and seek with a sexy spin! Go to the dollar store and get a bunch of glow in the dark necklaces and bracelets. Go back home, turn off all the lights and dress down to only your birthday suit. Put on the glow in the dark jewelry and take turns hiding and seeking! If this isn’t a creative date night, we don’t know what is!?

Creative Date Night #5: Sip & Paint Portraits

Creative Date Night : Painting and Sipping

One night Aron & I went to a craft store and bought some inexpensive canvases and paint. We came home, poured ourselves a glass of wine and decorated the living room with lights and candles. We put some music on and set up our canvases to face each other. Together, we sipped on our paint, talked and did our best attempt at painting each other’s portraits.

TOO FUN. We are no Picasso, but we had a blast. (This is similar to our Creative Expression Box!)

Creative Date Night #6 : Exotic Dinner

Creative Date Night : Cooking Exotic Meal

Research an exotic market place near you (example: Asian Grocery Store, Indian Market, etc). Then, research an exotic recipe for dinner and head to the market to find your appropriate ingredients. Head back home, find a Pandora Music station that fits your theme and make your exotic dinner together as a creative date night! Who says you have to go on a fancy vacation to experience culture and enjoy yummy food? Ugh.. Creative date night? I’d say so!

Creative Date Night #7 : Bookstore Expert

Creative Date Night : Bookstore Find a fun bookstore– used, fancy, whatever you enjoy. Take an hour to separate and get lost in whatever interests you. After your hour is up, come back together, get some coffee and share with each other your expert knowledge on whatever subject you just spent the last hour learning about. Your partner may find your new expert intelligence pretty hot….

Hope these ideas inspire you both and are helpful when thinking about a creative date night. Feel free to leave comments, suggestions and/or other ideas! For more inspiration check out The Modern Love Box subscription or Shop!

Your’s Truly,
A & A
Scroll to top
Processing...
Thank you! Your subscription has been confirmed. You'll hear from us soon.
Newsletter Signup
Join our mailing list for news, promo's and to stay connnected!
ErrorHere